John Kerry (That Great Agitator For Peace) Calling For Airstrikes In The Syrian Civil War: Winner of OS's WTF Award

Really, ya'll, just can't make this stuff up.

At a principals meeting in the White House situation room, Secretary of State John Kerry began arguing, vociferously, for immediate U.S. airstrikes against airfields under the control of Bashar al-Assad’s Syrian regime -- specifically, those fields it has used to launch chemical weapons raids against rebel forces. 

(Wait a second! Wasn't this the guy who tossed someone else's medals (certainly not his own!) over the White House fence in protest of the Viet Nam War, and testified to the Senate that his fellow soldiers were murderers? Wasn't this the guy who gave GW Bush unshirted grief over the chemical weapons that weren't found in Iraq--because a lot of them had been secreted to Syria!)

It was at this point that the current chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the usually mild-mannered Army General Martin Dempsey, spoke up, loudly. According to several sources, Dempsey threw a series of brushback pitches at Kerry, demanding to know just exactly what the post-strike plan would be and pointing out that the State Department didn’t fully grasp the complexity of such an operation.
Dempsey informed Kerry that the Air Force could not simply drop a few bombs, or fire a few missiles, at targets inside Syria: To be safe, the U.S. would have to neutralize Syria’s integrated air-defense system, an operation that would require 700 or more sorties. 

At a time when the U.S. military is exhausted, and when sequestration is ripping into the Pentagon budget, Dempsey is said to have argued that a demand by the State Department for precipitous military action in a murky civil war wasn’t welcome.

(Um, scuze me, Massah Seceretahry Uv State, but all 'dem Syrian anti-aircraft sites? Dey beez Russian anti-aircraft sites! Yew don't think the Russians are so stupid as to just ship boatloads of advanced weapons to a chaotic situation like Syria, off-load them and hand over the owners' manuals to whoever greets them on the docks? Those are complex systems, and required trained people, that means Russians, to run them. We're the ones who just drop off ordinance and wish everybody well...)

Remember Viet Nam, the tragedy that helped launch your career Massah Kerry? It happened because a trigger-happy egomaniac named Lyndon Johnson decided to get us hip-deep in a civil war on the ground in Asia!

Now here we are again, with you demanding the fleet sail and the planes fly and damn the torpedos. No real entrance strategy, no exit strategy, no real goals in mind, no contingency plan if things go pear-shaped, nothing.

And to think you almost became President!! Holy Cow!!

So, Massah Secruhterry, if'n yew wanna go make yoh'self feel bettah by shootin' off ordinance, c'mon on down South. All the fireworks stands are up and running, and you can buy yoh'self all sorts of stuff that will will go boom and flash. Just stand clear when yew light dem fuses, ok? And remember, keep the pointy end of 'dem rockets pointed up and away from people and pets.