OS sends greetings to HM and to all her subjects. In the past sixty years, this country has had as head of state Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush Sr., Clinton, Bush Jr., and HimselfTheWinnerOfTheNobelPeacePrize. Apart from the first two, arguably Ford and definitely Reagan, it has been a pretty disappointing cast of characters at the helm.
Ya'll have had the Queen, who has worked at looking after things in challenging times. She has dealt with some serious knucklehead Prime Ministers, especially in Blair, Brown and Cameron, but England is still doing better than that train wreck across the Channel, Europe. She's one of the main reasons why.
In the US, the live video feed of this morning's service was blocked, and the BBC Radio Coverage was shameful, with the self-impressed presenters chattering over the service and making certain to downplay any Christian content. Shame on them, and OS hopes his readers in the UK will take the matter up with the Beeb. Ya'll deserve better. You're paying these clowns to chatter over the great events of your history.
Still, bits of video were posted, and OS shares two of them with you.
The anthem for the day, based upon the Old Testament reading from Proverbs 8 was the newly-composed 'Call To Wisdom', sung by a choir dawn from across the UK.
Lord of wisdom, Lord of truth, Lord of justice, Lord of mercy;
Walk beside us down the years till we see you in your glory.
Striving to attain the heights, turning in a new direction,
Entering a lonely place, welcoming a friend or stranger.
I am here, I am with you.
I have called; do you hear me?
Silver is of passing worth, gold is not of constant value,
Jewels sparkle for a while: what you long for is not lasting.
Rulers govern under me with my insight and my wisdom.
Those who love me know my love; those who seek me find their answer.
God the Father and the Son, Holy Spirit, co-eternal;
Glory be ascribed to you, now and to the end of ages.
Words: Michael Hampel (b.1967), based on Proverbs 8. 1-17
Music: Will Todd (b.1970)
The second video features David Cameron reading the New Testament lesson from Romans 12.
I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to
present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is
your spiritual worship. Do not be confor med to this world, but be transfor med
by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of
God – what is good and acceptable and perfect.
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of
yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober
judgement, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For
as in one body we have many members, and not all the members have the
same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually
we are members one of another.
We have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us: prophecy, in proportion to faith; ministry, in ministering; the teacher, in teaching; the exhorter, in exhortation; the giver, in generosity; the
leader, in diligence; the compassionate, in cheerfulness.
Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one
another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honour. Do not
lag in zeal, be ardent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in
suffering, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend
hospitality to strangers.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those
who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another;
do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly; do not claim to be wiser than
you are. Do not repay anyone evil for evil, but take thought for what is noble
in the sight of all. If it is possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably
with all.
Romans 12. 1-18
How very appropriate to make the Prime Minister broadcast these words to the world. The inspiration, truth, poetry, aspiration and inherent optimism of St. Paul's vision for how society should run (in light of the the Gospel he so eloquently described in Romans 1-11) stand in dissonant contrast to how governance is practiced these days. These sorts of events are not for nothing--words have power, especially well-written words spoken in front of millions. OS hopes that the public presentation of these words will have some sort of restraining effect upon all in public life, on both sides of the pond.
As for Her Majesty: God bless you, and thank you for all the ways, great and small, you have looked after your part of the world. You have blessed us all.
Showing posts with label Queen Elizabeth II. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Queen Elizabeth II. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Sunday, October 9, 2011
God Save The Queen, She's Come To Our Rescue
One of OS's Facebook friends from Blighty passed this gem along. In a world full of glum news, it is a joy to stop and share a belly-laugh with our friends.
Authorship is unknown to OS, but the creator is definitely brilliant, and thanks and apologies precede the republishing of this piece. It's just too funny not to share.
*****
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen... Elizabeth II:
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.'Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). (I love that one)
Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' ' (I love that one too)
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.)
8.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
Authorship is unknown to OS, but the creator is definitely brilliant, and thanks and apologies precede the republishing of this piece. It's just too funny not to share.
*****
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen... Elizabeth II:
In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas , which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.'Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). (I love that one)
Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.' ' (I love that one too)
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.)
8.You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!
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