Parenting, Chinese Style: Amy Chua

The debate will (and should) be lively as this book hits the shelves.

Mr. and Mrs. OS viewed the morning interview with Prof. Chua, and found ourselves cheering. We're not Chinese, but this is essentially the approach we took with both Juvenile Units, one of each gender. There were some dark days along the way, but we have two happy, successful Juvenile Units to show for all our efforts.

The violin didn't take with either one, the piano took with one, and we allowed some community theatre involvement along the way. But video games were unknown within our walls, and both became expert cooks and knew how to care for their laundry long before they departed for adult life. They knew how to write, how to converse with peers and adults alike, which fork to use, and that success and leadership are things to embrace, not to denigrate.

Chua has much to say, most of which OS can endorse. This paragraph makes him stand up and cheer:

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until you're good at it. To get good at anything you have to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override their preferences. This often requires fortitude on the part of the parents because the child will resist; things are always hardest at the beginning, which is where Western parents tend to give up. But if done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle. Tenacious practice, practice, practice is crucial for excellence; rote repetition is underrated in America. Once a child starts to excel at something—whether it's math, piano, pitching or ballet—he or she gets praise, admiration and satisfaction. This builds confidence and makes the once not-fun activity fun. This in turn makes it easier for the parent to get the child to work even more.

'If done properly, the Chinese strategy produces a virtuous circle.'

OS spent part of this morning doing a 'post-mortem' with colleagues on the subject of a talented bright student whose family (and now the student himself) has decided to snatch failure from the jaws of success. OS has seen it so often, he has simply become numb: You did your best, we all tried our best. Move on, nothing to spend any further energy on. Next...

On the other hand, OS has on several occasions seen raw cruelty disguised as 'The Chinese Strategy'. He recently heard at second-hand, but on good authority, of a child of Chinese parents, raised in the West, who is disdained by her mother because mother is old-old-school 'Your job is to get some education, get married to a successful Chinese boy, and make babies for The Family'. This kid is excelling at life, as she was pushed to do, only to be beaten up for it later. This is not a virtuous circle, this is tragedy in the making. Absent love, there is no virtuous circle. But absent intent, hard work and discipline, no amount of emotional expression of love will produce success. Both are required.

So, OS hopes you read this, and will give it careful thought. He doesn't give it a blanket endorsement, but there is much here of value.

The OS motto about 'Culture shaping Economy' is seen here in stark relief.

The Joys of Parenthood: Dean Dad And The Science Fair

Tax extension due, and much travel about to be undertaken, so a quick note:

Dean Dad at Inside Higher Education is at his best when writing about the joys of parenthood.

This one, about the elementary science fair, is priceless.

Enjoy!