Just when OS suspects he might be able to assemble a few memorable words in sequence, along comes the urbane Jesse, dashing his hopes yet again.
Jesse introduces a wonderful essay in his own wonderful way.
Read this bit first.
Then read the whole essay he references.
Wonderful stuff, in the Hunter Thompson tradition.
Showing posts with label Goldman-Sachs Settlement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goldman-Sachs Settlement. Show all posts
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Once Again, Karl Denninger Is On The Mark: The Paltry Goldman-Sachs Settlement
The Angry Man of American Financial Blogdom hits the bullseye once again.
OldSouth heard the announcement of the GS settlement on the radio yesterday.
As Denninger points out, a $550 million dollar fine extracted from a firm with some $75 billion of market cap is simply a cost of doing business. No admission of guilt.
A promise that 'Honest, we'll never ever ever ever do it again--cross our little black banker hearts and hope to die!'.
These people nearly collapsed the world's economy; as in, the ability for normal people living their potty little Main Street/High Street lives to simply go about their business, do their jobs, raise the kids, and maybe have enough at the end to live with a bit of dignity, not forced to share their final years living under the same roof with their kids and grandchildren. That's just in North America and places like the UK. In other parts of the world it means: 'Is there enough food for the children today, and will I get a bit to eat myself?'
And, if you'll look at the announcement in the second link above, there was a sharp move upwards on the GS stock just before the announcement. As in, the settlement number was leaked to the trading desks somewhere, and they were off to the races. That's just run-of-the-mill insider trading, ya'll, nothing to see here.
Tell-ya'-whut-OldSouth's gonna do, in light of the settlement:
He's gonna get with Bubbah, the local independent insurance agent, and buy fire insurance on all the houses for about a mile around. Illegal-illschmegal! We're makin' us some money, honey!
Then, he's gonna sell shares in all those policies to a teachers pension fund in Arkansas--them folks is really stupid, they'll buy anything!
Then, he'll get with Bubbah's cousin Bubbah, fresh back from the pen, stock him up in gasoline and matches, burn down all them houses, and collect the insurance. Pay Bubbah and Bubbah a few grand in cash, send them on their way.
Then, he'll wire the proceeds to the Caymans (what-chew-mean-that-money-belongs-to-that-pension-fund? They'ze in Arkansas, chump! They deserve to lose their money!), turn Bubbah and Bubbah over to the pohleece, and buy himself a seat on the boards of some local charities and get himself elected to the deacon board of the local largest Baptist church he can find.
Now, if Bubbah and Bubbah gits their panties in a wad 'bout goin' to prison, they may tell their side of the story to the pohleece. Let 'em. OS's got lawyers, and heee'z already bought off the judge, and besides, the pohleece iz too stupid to decipher the books and follow the money, and the prosecutor wants to git hired on that law firm that represents OS, anyway. And, the guhvner got himself a piece of the action back there a bit, so there's always a pardon available, jest in case things get nasty. Besides, OS's got some entertaining footage of the guhvner and three or four of his interns--Bambi, Julie, Robert, and Phillip. Very entertaining, know-whud-I-mean?
But, just in case, somebody somewhere someday, decides to pursue him, OS's got him the Goldman-Sachs-Get-Out-Of-Jail-Almost-Free-Card: Get his lawyers to share that footage with the Guhvner, offer that job to the prosecutor, sue those hick teachers in Arkansas for having the temerity to complain, remind the judge where his loyalties lie, and negotiate a fine in the amount of, say .5% of the proceeds of the transaction described above.
Pay the fine, never admitting that anything was ever done wrong to anyone, and promise to never-ever-ever do it again, until the next time.
Fund an orphanage in the Caymans, courtesy of the large local Baptist church. Visit it often.
Make sure Bubbah and Bubbah gets sent up to Brushy Mountain Prison, where they held James Earl Ray all those years, and arrange for them to meet an untimely end.
Gots to clean up them details, you know.
OldSouth heard the announcement of the GS settlement on the radio yesterday.
As Denninger points out, a $550 million dollar fine extracted from a firm with some $75 billion of market cap is simply a cost of doing business. No admission of guilt.
A promise that 'Honest, we'll never ever ever ever do it again--cross our little black banker hearts and hope to die!'.
These people nearly collapsed the world's economy; as in, the ability for normal people living their potty little Main Street/High Street lives to simply go about their business, do their jobs, raise the kids, and maybe have enough at the end to live with a bit of dignity, not forced to share their final years living under the same roof with their kids and grandchildren. That's just in North America and places like the UK. In other parts of the world it means: 'Is there enough food for the children today, and will I get a bit to eat myself?'
And, if you'll look at the announcement in the second link above, there was a sharp move upwards on the GS stock just before the announcement. As in, the settlement number was leaked to the trading desks somewhere, and they were off to the races. That's just run-of-the-mill insider trading, ya'll, nothing to see here.
Tell-ya'-whut-OldSouth's gonna do, in light of the settlement:
He's gonna get with Bubbah, the local independent insurance agent, and buy fire insurance on all the houses for about a mile around. Illegal-illschmegal! We're makin' us some money, honey!
Then, he's gonna sell shares in all those policies to a teachers pension fund in Arkansas--them folks is really stupid, they'll buy anything!
Then, he'll get with Bubbah's cousin Bubbah, fresh back from the pen, stock him up in gasoline and matches, burn down all them houses, and collect the insurance. Pay Bubbah and Bubbah a few grand in cash, send them on their way.
Then, he'll wire the proceeds to the Caymans (what-chew-mean-that-money-belongs-to-that-pension-fund? They'ze in Arkansas, chump! They deserve to lose their money!), turn Bubbah and Bubbah over to the pohleece, and buy himself a seat on the boards of some local charities and get himself elected to the deacon board of the local largest Baptist church he can find.
Now, if Bubbah and Bubbah gits their panties in a wad 'bout goin' to prison, they may tell their side of the story to the pohleece. Let 'em. OS's got lawyers, and heee'z already bought off the judge, and besides, the pohleece iz too stupid to decipher the books and follow the money, and the prosecutor wants to git hired on that law firm that represents OS, anyway. And, the guhvner got himself a piece of the action back there a bit, so there's always a pardon available, jest in case things get nasty. Besides, OS's got some entertaining footage of the guhvner and three or four of his interns--Bambi, Julie, Robert, and Phillip. Very entertaining, know-whud-I-mean?
But, just in case, somebody somewhere someday, decides to pursue him, OS's got him the Goldman-Sachs-Get-Out-Of-Jail-Almost-Free-Card: Get his lawyers to share that footage with the Guhvner, offer that job to the prosecutor, sue those hick teachers in Arkansas for having the temerity to complain, remind the judge where his loyalties lie, and negotiate a fine in the amount of, say .5% of the proceeds of the transaction described above.
Pay the fine, never admitting that anything was ever done wrong to anyone, and promise to never-ever-ever do it again, until the next time.
Fund an orphanage in the Caymans, courtesy of the large local Baptist church. Visit it often.
Make sure Bubbah and Bubbah gets sent up to Brushy Mountain Prison, where they held James Earl Ray all those years, and arrange for them to meet an untimely end.
Gots to clean up them details, you know.
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