File this under: YouJustCan'tMakeThisStuffUp...
Or: WhatPlanetIsHeFrom?
Or: WhatIsHeSmoking?
Words fail, so OS will just lift a couple of the more prominent quotes, but providing appropriate local translation, since Timmy insists on employing JargonSpeak in lieu of English.
U.S. Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner warned Republicans against politicizing the Federal Reserve and said the Obama administration would oppose any effort to strip the central bank of its mandate to pursue full employment.
“It is very important to keep politics out of monetary policy,” Geithner said in an interview airing on Bloomberg Television’s “Political Capital with Al Hunt” this weekend. “You want to be very careful not to take steps that hurt our
credibility.”
Translation: Yew! Yeah, Yew Bubbah! You just gotta sit yer behonkus down and shut up!
We're busy printing money here, and saving the world in the process. If you start complaining, why that'll just mess everthing up! And if thangs go south on us, it'll aaaallll be yer dam' fault! Instead of George Bush's fault...
Geithner, 49, declined to say what compromise the Obama administration would be willing to consider on extending Bush- era tax cuts, while ruling out making permanent the reductions for the wealthiest Americans.
“It is not responsible, and I could not recommend to the president in good conscience, that we go out and borrow $700 billion to make those high-end tax cuts permanent,” Geithner said.
Shoot-fahr, ya'll! we're borry'in that 700 large for our pet projects and vote buyin'. We gotta keep Kuhlifornia, YewNork and Illinoiz from rolling over and dyin' on us, gotta keep the borders open to let all those new voters in for 2012, keep all the Gulf states from drilling for oil and gettin' prosperous and uppity on us again, pay for all them civilian trials so we can cut them jihadists loose; and when that GM trash starts headin' for 20, we gotta have us some cash on hand to keep the UAW happy. Hell, I won't even START to tell you how much we gotta funnel to the NEA to keep them girls quiet! Whoo-wee, they jest won't let up!
On Europe, Geithner said a financial rescue of Ireland could mark an end to the continent’s sovereign debt crisis.
That's 'cuz we're just gunna pretend Greece, Spain, Portugal, and Italy don't exist no moh'! That'll fix that problem, once and fer all! And we'll just ignore all those bad loans to Poland and parts east. They don't exist no more, neither!
“It is very important that we respect and honor what the Congress did when it set up our independent central bank with a mandate to keep prices low and stable over time and to make sure” it promotes “sustainable economic growth,” said Geithner, who was president of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York before taking over as Treasury secretary last year.
Whut'sThatChewSay? You disagree? Then you be politicizin' that great American institution, The Fed'ral Reserve. Them's the folks that have done us the favor of lowering the value of the dollar 90% since they set up shop in 1913. Yew jest sitcherselfdown now, and keep quiet.
People might suspect we don't know whut weeze doin'. That would erode people's confidence in us...and we gots us lots of that theze daze. Hell, they might even start thankin' that it looks funny to have a revolving door between the Fed and the Treasury, like there might be some, you know, undisclosed conflicts of interest stuck away in the broom closet.
And, no, you ain't allowed to ask about them, neither.
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