Himself will be mounting the podium soon, but the teleprompters must be prepared first.
Dustin Hoffman has been brought back to coach TheOne, so here's the last minute preps:
OK, Barry, whatever the Flip you do, Stay With The Teleprompter!
Do not, under any circumstance, go off script.
Look at me Barry! Try to concentrate! Geeeez!!!! Not the time for a cigarette, Barry! No, Barry, you can't go play golf today! No, Barry, you can't play basketball, either. You have a speech to make! (Ohmygod...)
Remember, it Bush's fault. It's Boehner's fault. It's the Tea Party's fault. It's God's fault for timing the earthquake in Japan like He did. NoNoNoNo, scratch that one, we don't believe in God except when we need His endorsement.
It's the fault of S&P--they're all racists, and have been secretly taken over by Tea Party zombies! That's a good one!
It's all the fault of that Zionist Cantor!
They can't do math, and we're in the process of correcting them. Gino and Vito are on the way now to 'splain things to them.
Fannie and Freddie don't matter, so don't even begin to talk about Fannie and Freddie.
Intone jobzjobzjobzjobz....growthgrowthrowthgrowth....
It's because we can't raise taxes! That's a good one, and blame it on the Tea Party!
Remember, whatever you say, It's Not Your Fault! None of it! Only YOU know what's best for the country. Only YOU know the WillOfTheAmericanPeople!
(Geeeeeez, who decided to put this guy in office? What were they thinking?)
OK, here we go!
1 comment:
He's on...and on script...and the market keeps dropping, 25 points or so since he began speaking.
The WillToAct! SummonThatSpiritToday!
(Now hiding behind the flag, extolling the military he loathes.)
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