This, in OS's humble opinion, is eye-wateringly funny.
(You'll need to click the link to understand...)
An intrepid soul at Slate Labs has created a tool to allow the translation of obtuse, jargon-filled articles, designed to mask the truth from the reader, into Plain English.
The tool itself is called 'Plain English', it's still in development, and the possibilities are breathtaking, if it were to be employed widely.
It works like this: Each original phrase is highlighted. Click the phrase, and the Plain English version appears. Since OS doesn't have the tool, he'll have to just describe it:
(In this example, the latest pronouncement from WeimarBen and the Fed is translated.)
The original phrase is--Information received since the Federal Open Market Committee met in September confirms that the pace of recovery in output and employment continues to be slow.
The Plain English version is--The economy still sucks.
The translation gets funnier from there.
A few days back, OS noted that candor comes with a terrible price to the one willing to exercise it. That's 'cuz the jargonistas have taken over, and have learned to use language as a means of confusion rather than communication. Then when normalistas (you know, people who have consciences and think that words have meaing) encounter this nonsense and melt down in frustration, the jargonistas calmly look over their glasses, chide normal people for being stupidly ill-tempered, and call security.
We may finally have a weapon with which to fight back! Plain English! Laughter! It's the secret of Mel Brooks' genius--Blazing Saddles and The Producers are both great examples of Plain English humor.
If nothing else, it can help relieve the stress. Hells-bells, ever'body! When the Fed just got through printing up 1.2 trillion dollars out'ta thin air to buy up damn-near ever' mortgage in the country, then decides to throw another 800 billion on the fire, just fer good measure, ya just gotta laugh!
It may well all end in tears, but we gotta keep morale up, one household at a time, 'cuz life will have to go on, on way or t'uther.
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