And The Spin Will Be...'We're Not Worried!'

It's becoming obvious, even overseas, that Himself is in deep doo-doo. The One, having declared The Summer of Recovery, arrives to the fall with nothing of the sort, outside of a DOW average that feels eerily pumped up.

The November 2 election is now three weeks away.

We can now expect the spin to begin, well ahead of time. It will go like this:

Well, the opposition always picks up seats in the mid-term. We're not worried.

Well, the public has been seduced by Fox News (or Rush, or Savage, or foreign influences on the Chamber of Commerce), but we're not worried. We'll forge ahead with our vision of a new America in the lame-duck session. The public really believes in us, and will come to love us by January. We're not worried.

Well, the stimulus was too small, and that's the fault of all those Republicans. We're not worried.

Well, the Great Recovery Program just hasn't had time to take hold, and all those out-of-work and impoverished voters just don't understand what a good thing we've done for them. We're not worried.

Things really aren't that bad, people are just hysterical. We're not worried.

People aren't expressing their unhappiness with Obama, but rather about the economy, which of course is Bush's fault. They love the President, so we're not worried.

It's really George Bush's fault. All of it, except for any good news. That's our doing. We're not worried.

It's the fault of the racists. Anyone who disagrees with Himself has a white-sheet outfit hung in the closet. We're not worried.

The Winner of the Nobel Peace Prize knows best. He's the most brilliant man to ever occupy the office. Just ask Oprah. She's not worried.

Besides, John Boehner actually smokes cigarettes! What sort of idiot is that? We're not worried.

What's that you say? Obama smokes? Well, maybe, but he only smokes organically-grown fair trade tobacco. So that's OK. We're not worried, and you are a paranoid racist for even bringing the subject up. You are the one who should worry, since we know who you are.

It's Joe Biden's fault, and we'll throw him under the bus November 3. Human sacrifice does appease the gods, we understand. We're not worried.

On and on it will go. It's begun already.

Chin-straps on, ya'll.